I will not watch
by Pinch
Summary: Itey wakes up only to realize the worst. ::Warning:: Slash. (Odd pairing, but i think its cute- Specs/Itey)


_Title: I will not watch  
Author: Linly Follis "Pinch"  
Rating: PG for Slashystoryline  
Description: Itey wakes up to realize the worst. From iteys POV (Point Of View) ::Warning::Slash-- Odd Pairing Specs/Itey (Songfic, Dido- My Lovers Gone)  
Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, I do not own Newsies, I do not own Specs nor Itey. I own Pinch, I own the ideas I've used, I own the thoughts. I do not own Dido's song or Dido. I own this story. If you steal it, its kinda like coming into my house and stealing my toothbush. Its personal and I've used it. Why would you want to use it after me? Thats gross, do you know what you can get? Yeah. Its not cool to think about huh. Think of all the people i've kissed.. (ok not THAT many but still.. they might be people YOU wouldnt want to kiss..) if you steal my toothbrush.. Its like kissing those people, and all the people theyve kissed and all the people THEY kissed. Yeah. So basically. Dont steal my story. Got it?_  
  
  
  
  
**I Will Not Watch  
  
**  
  
**I'm still young but my perception is sharp. I know when not to speak, when to be polite, and how to conduct myself around a lady. I knew you watched me and I understood the look in your eyes. I felt my hands shaking as I confronted you about it but, I knew how to calm you down when you reacted so harshly to my accusations. Soon you gave in and admitted to your feelings. Like I said, I'm smart and quick, I pick up on things. I picked up on your closeness this week. Every kiss seemed like it held so much passion and every whisper was filled with emotion. **  
  
My lovers gone   
His boots no longer by my door   
he left at dawn   
and as i slept i felt him go   
returns no more   
  
**The cold air wrapping around me confirmed everything. I was now alone, I think the idea of being alone made me shiver more than the lack of heat in the room. I prayed quietly to myself that you had only needed to use the restroom. I refused to open my eyes for an endless amount of time just hoping soon you would join me beneath the covers once more. Specs please don't be gone. **  
  
i will not watch the ocean   
my lovers gone   
no earthly ships will ever bring him home again   
bring him home again   
**  
It seemed like everyone was doing well on their selling, you did really good Specs. I realize the days lasted forever but that just meant a little more money to eat on! I know your feelings about a job at the factory, a real job to support yourself, but you didn't have to go now. We talked about us and how one day you knew you would have to move on and start a new life. Does a new life have to mean starting completely over ... without me?   
**  
my lovers gone   
i know that kiss will be my last   
no more his song   
the tune upon his lips has passed   
i sing alone   
  
**Is this why you kissed me like you did? You knew that it would be the last times we spent together. Specs I'm smart, you said so yourself, so how come I didn't see this coming? I'm crying now. I hope no one hears me. I don't want to wake anyone and have to explain where you are. If I knew, I would be there with you. My body feels empty and cold like I'm hallow inside. You filled that with warmth and happiness. Your kisses made my skin tingle with feeling. Our conversations made me think outside the lines. I'm nothing now. I've always known I would be nothing without you though. No one challenges me, no one encourages me, no one but you. **   
  
while i watch the ocean   
my lovers gone   
no earthly ships will ever bring him home again   
bring him home again   
  
**Despite how blurry things are I can see that your glasses no longer set on the table next to the bed. More tears fall as I realize most of your things are gone. I can't handle this. I feel numb to the cold now, but only because the chill inside of me is stronger than anything I've ever felt. **  
  
my lovers gone   
his boots no longer by my door   
he left at dawn   
and as i slept i felt him go   
returns no more   
  
**I see the sun rising and I know soon Kloppman will come to wake everyone. Some will ask questions, some will go about their day only wondering to themselves. I want to ask questions, I want to beg them to tell me where you've gone. I wont though, I'll buy my papers and slip into an alley to be alone. **  
  
i will not watch the ocean   
my lovers gone   
no earthly ships will ever bring him home again   
bring him home again   
  
  
**I'm not going to wait for you. I know you aren't coming back. I pick myself up slowly, feeling the weakness in my knees. Above me Snitch rolls over and whispers, his thumb still in his mouth. Its barely audible, but I know he's offering me warmth. He lifts the sheet and I slowly pull myself up to his bunk with tears in my eyes. He doesn't offer a smile, nor mention you, but I know he knows you're gone. He slowly places an arm around me and squeezes softly as I find myself sobbing again. I feel his breath on the back of my neck and pretend its you. I find his hand and slip my fingers over it trembling. He does not jerk away and once more I imagine I'm with you. I'll never be with you again. I tell myself I will not look out the window tonight. I make fake promises to no one that I will not wait to see your smile once more. I will not watch I whisper through the sobs, though Snitch and I both know, I will.  
**  
-Fin-  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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